Hello folks who wonder if the only two times in life when people will pretend to be older are during underage drinking and a chance to be in the front of the line for the COVID-19 vaccine,
What will you do to ensure a bright future for your kids? That they get to live a life you always envied? You will first need to have a stable career which means you will have to endure a soul-sucking 40-hour week with colleagues like Jennifer and Kenneth for whom you got to, week after week, put on that fake smile and pretend that you care about their weekend escapades.
You see, having an emergency fund in place before starting a family is always a good idea. But you don't trust the banks. You see them as evil and blame them for the 2008 financial crisis. And you are terrified about bitcoin price fluctuations. So, you decide to hide that money under your mattress. One day after work, feeling tired you decide to lay on your bed. But things don't feel right. The mattress feels lower than usual, so you decide to look under.
The money is not there!!! You see all your hopes and dreams fly away. Your future and the future of your yet to be born kids does not look so promising after all.
Have you ever eaten carrots and wondered why are they so sweet?
You see, carrots are biennials. Plants that take the term "YOLO"[1] too literally and ultimately complete their entire life cycle in just one year are called Annuals. Biennials on the other hand have a two-year life cycle, will spend their first year building a solid foundation and then go "YOLO" in the second year.
The typical life cycle of a carrot will include spending their workdays in the first year making carbohydrates (sorry Keto nuts, plants did not get the memo) using photosynthesis. These carbohydrates are stored in the taproot which results in the crunchy, sweet carrots that humans (and Bugs Bunny) typically eat. If not picked at the end of the first year, the carrot plant will then use the stored carbohydrates to make flowers in the second year. For the unfortunate humans, who pick the carrot in the second year, the carrot will be slender and not that sweet since it used the carbohydrate reserves stored in the taproot for ensuring the future for its next generation i.e., producing flowers and seeds.
One of the questions asked as an icebreaker when interacting with strangers at a party is "If you could be a fly on the wall for any conversation in history, which one would it be?". To which I usually say, "But did you know how flies manage to walk on walls and glass?". Rolling their eyes and excusing themselves to refill their wine glass is usually how they react.
But there are a few drawbacks. This gift makes them miserable at arts and crafts classes.
[1] YOLO: a term people use these days to justify drinking/texting while driving and investing all their savings in GameStop stocks.
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