This case is about Gregory, a band-winged Grasshopper who mysteriously disappeared on May 15th in Sunnyvale. When Gregory's parents could not reach him for more than 24 hours, they filed a missing grasshopper's report.
Detectives started searching the area where he was last seen and brought in a bunch of suspects who had last seen Gregory for interviews to gather more information.
Suspect 1: Catherine, a band-winged grasshopper
Catherine: I understand.
Detective: So tell me when was the last time you saw Mr. Gregory.
Catherine: That would be the afternoon of May 15.
Detective: And what was your relationship to Mr. Gregory?
Catherine: So he was my lover..ex-lover actually, we met through Grasshopper Singles dating website.
Detective: So you broke up?
Catherine: Not officially, but after he did not respond to my text messages for more than 60 minutes, I was convinced he had an affair.
Detective: (*slightly surprised) Ohh..ok. Tell me when was the last time you met him?
Catherine: So it was the 15th, when he came over and we started making out.
Detective: Ok, did he behave suspiciously that day? like talking about something or acting in a way that would not be normal.
Catherine: Nope, it was a routine make out. You see Grasshoppers will send visual as well as audio signals to communicate and attract mates. Then once both parties agree the males will mount the female. You can tell which is a male and which is a female by the size difference. Males are much smaller in size since they do not have to invest resources in laying eggs.
This is how a typical grasshopper mating session might look like:
Catherine: I asked Greg to leave since I was meeting my girlfriends to watch reruns of Bachelor in Paradise season 4...OMG...Chris is so hawt...
Detective: (*interrupts) Ok, so you have an alibi after Gregory left your place?
Catherine: YAAS, you can ask my friends.
Detective: Ok thank you for your time, we will reach out in case we want any more information. Please hand over the contact information of your friends to Officer Rudy on your way out. Thanks.
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Suspect 2: Abigail, a house sparrow
Abigail: Yes, I don't know Gregory personally but I saw a grasshopper just hanging around the bushes at that time.
Detective: What were you doing in your front yard Ma'am?
Abigail: So this will sound embarrassing.
Detective: Don't worry, I am not going to judge.
Abigail: So the thing is, in our Sparrow families when we have babies they have three stages of development: Hatchlings, Nestlings and Fledglings. Hatchlings are birds who have just hatched and because they are naked, they cannot regulate their own body temperature, hence they will require utmost care from parents and are super vulnerable since their eyes haven't opened yet.
Next, the nestlings phase is when they grow older, but still are not ready to leave the nest but they have their own feathers, although they look all fuzzy since their feathers haven't been groomed yet.
The final stage before they are ready to take on the world is the Fledgling stage where they leave their nest, but they can't fly just yet and have not yet learnt the skill of foraging for food. Hence they will tail their parents while foraging for food but still rely on their parents to feed them. This is the time when most humans, mistaking these birds have fallen off the nest will rescue them prematurely so they can wear the superhero cape for a day. Anyways, this fledgling stage is similar to you humans when a 35 year old is asking his parents for money to go to have a beer with his friends.
So I was feeding my fledgling when I saw that grasshopper going into the bushes.
Abigail: So nothing out of the ordinary, some ground squirrels running around my yard.
Detective: Oh, yeah grounds squirrels can be a nuisance.
Abigail: Yes, they recently ate my sprouting plants...
Detective: (*cuts her off) I see, I think that would be all the information I would need for today. Thank you for your time.
Abigail: Yes, and then there was this brown bird that was hanging around the bushes.
Detective: (*sits back down) Wait, what did you say?
Abigail: Yes, there was this medium sized-bird who looked like it had brown plumage but since I just saw its silhouette I can't be so sure.
Detective: Interesting, would you happen to have any home security cameras installed in your premises?
Abigail: Of course, in these times of Amazon package theft, you would be a fool not to have one.
Detective: Great, can you send over the video for the entire day of the 15th to Officer Rudy on your way out.
Abigail: I would be happy to help.
Detective: Thank you for your time.
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Suspect 3: Sophia, a Brewer's Blackbird.
Detective: No Ma'am we are just going to ask a few questions pertaining to the disappearance of Gregory the grasshopper.
Sophia: But I don't know him. I just don't understand why I am being held in this room?
Detective: I understand your concern, like I said you are not under arrest, this is just a chat so we can gather more information. You are free to leave this room anytime you want.
Sophia: Okay.
Detective: So Sophia, tell me where were you on the afternoon of 15th?
Sophia: So I recently had a broken sandal, and I always wanted this nice pair of sandals from Macy's and they had a 35% discount coupon so I thought I would buy that pair and wear it for a party and probably buy some matching dress as well. But then AMC had the new Adam Sandler movie out, so I thought I would watch it as well.
Detective: All the retail stores and movie theatres should be closed right now due to the shelter-in place restrictions. Are you sure that is what you did on that day?
Sophia: (*caught off guard) Yes, you are correct that was probably 2 months ago. I don't remember exactly what I did on the 15th. Heck I don't even remember what I had for dinner last night. Was it Lasagne or Ravioli, I can't remember.
Detective: That still does not answer my question.
Sophia: Like I said I don't really remember what I did.
Detective: Ok, take a look at this photo and tell me if you have ever seen him.
Sophia: (*stares at the photo for a while) Nope, never seen him.
Detective: Take your time, think about it.
Sophia: Nope. Nothing.
Detective: Tell me miss Sophia, are you a vegan?
Sophia: What! What has this to do with his murder?
Detective: I never said Gregory was murdered. Do you know something that we don't?
Sophia: I....I...
Detective: Ok, let me show you a video caught on the home security camera on the 15th just before Mr. Gregory disappeared.
Detective: Well Sophia, call up your family and tell them you are going to miss dinner. We are going to be here for a while.
- Read part II here
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