Let's imagine a 8 year marriage that is as fresh as the meat at Mickey D's. So none of the things that happen during honeymoon phase: Taking thousands of couple selfies, PDA at the local starbucks, baby-talking to each other....you get the idea. The husband whose best attire for a party till now was sweat pants with a deep V-Neck along with some sandals and socks to top it off. Suddenly, the husband starts hitting the gym daily at 5:00 am, eating organic foods, spending a fortune on Armani suits, grooming himself every day, coming in home late from work. This is the point where the wife starts getting suspicious and wonders what is the reason for such a drastic change of behavior in her spouse. Is it infidelity or has her husband succumbed to following Kim Kardashian on Instagram?
So how do you easily spot the cheaters in the birding world? Easy, look for the best dressed ones.
This is how it works: Both genders of birds in a monogamous relationship would look very similar in appearance except for size and some other features. Males of birds who don't wait till breakfast after one-night stands look very different from the females and are much colorful, so they can woo other females while deleting all their Instagram posts after every hook-up.
Why is that you ask?
Because male birds can devote their energy either looking good in front of the camera or taking care of their offspring, but not both. That is why parents on reality shows are usually a wreck.
Let's take an example of a Canada Goose which usually mate for life.
Below you can see a Canada Goose pair where one partner is looking out for danger while the other partner is contemplating whether it has made the right decision to stay in this relationship.
You see, after the males move on to their next adventure, the females have to incubate the eggs without becoming a target for predators, hence they sport nondescript colors.
Below is where the female Mallards lay their eggs, so they need a color which helps them camouflage while sitting on the nest.
When the Mormons settled in Utah and started growing their food, hordes of crickets(called Mormon crickets, so convenient!) suddenly appeared in 1848 and started to eat their crops.
Then came the California Gulls to the rescue. But these gulls were different because they were bulimic. After bingeing on the crickets, they threw up and then ate again. It was terrible for their self-esteem but heck they ended up eating every single cricket that was destroying those crops.
And thus the State Bird of Utah award goes to the California Gull.
Here is how it happened.
So next time you see these gulls, treat it with a little more respect than just feeding it from your bag of chips.
California Gulls are seen below washing themselves for at least 20 seconds as per CDC guidelines after coming in contact with a stranger gull.
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